It is the beginning of a new calendar year and many of us have already begun to feel the affects of entering a new year and new decade. You may have set resolutions or goals, attended a visioning board party, or held ritual on behalf of you desired manifestations.
One way I am building a better life in this decade and beyond is "radical self-love". I'm not talking about the fluffy, commercialized, and cliche version of self-love where I take bubble baths, enjoy wine and a good book or a vacation. Radical self-love in this decades to come means EVALUATION!
When is the last time you did an assessment of those you are in relationship with? Friends? Family? Community? We maintain and hold onto relationships because of comfortably, familiarity, length of the relationship, fear of the consequences of ending a relationship, and the list goes on. However, if we truly desire to grow, we must continually take a deep, hard look at who is within our circle and make necessary adjustments.
That friend that never initiates communication, that family member that constantly tears you down, that organization that does not value the work you do are all examples of possibly toxic relationships that need adjusting. It will become easy to determine the level of adjustment (distance, limited contact, no contact) a relationship needs once we sit and get honest with ourselves about how we are left feeling when we engage with certain people.
What makes this radical is having the courage to take the next steps to create the mind, body, spirit energy you desire in your life. It is not easy to create distance in a 20 year friendship because your aren't celebrated or valued, it is not easy to cutoff a friend in need because you are constantly used in the relationship. Even harder is evaluating family relationships.
How do you stand your ground and honor yourself with a parent whom doesn't respect boundaries? When do you draw the line for a relative who competes with you instead of encourages your success? When do you stop attending family functions for the sake of tradition when those same family members speak negatively about you in private and public?
When you are practicing Radical Self-Love, that's when! It will not be easy, there will be growing pains, tears and tough feelings, but you are tough! And dearest, you deserve the peace, joy, and pure love that is to come when we remove old, stagnant patterns and people from our lives.